We've all had them - relationships where no matter how you try, they just don't work, and they end in hurt and remorse, and misunderstanding and more pain caused intentionally than unintentionally. These poems try to capture those kind of feelings.
Sonnet For A Lost Cause
Melancholic #1
Melancholic #2
Loser's Game
Maybe If
Turning Point
The What, When And Why Of It
Parting Thoughts
Sonnet For A Lost Cause
The bubble burst and the drops of rain
Showered down on me again
As the sunlight set the darkness grew
And fear and worry returned anew
I?d weathered storms, found my way home
Too long spent out there on my own
So I let my guard drop and you back in
Didn?t see I still crawled right under your skin
Why didn?t you move on forget what you knew
You future not based on a past that?s not true
You cannot forgive but I bear the cost
Bizarre retribution for that which you lost
And the irony is whilst I will still pay
Its for something you know longer want anyway
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Melancholic #1
I feel the tears
Coming
And I know why
I sense my fears
Rising
From where they lie
I took the turns
Blindly
Out of control
I lived my life
Wildly
All rock and roll
I knew the price
Mounting
Crossed the line
My debtors close
Hounding
Its payback time
Next-time winner
Really?
Because I try?
Seeking something
Lasting
My truth, this lie
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Melancholic #2
I got up to leave this time
But stayed a while instead
Told you some of this and that
Not what was in my head
I woke up and turned to you
I ached to up and go
Instead I just held you close
Too scared to let it show
I stood out upon that bridge
Thinking I could fly
Fooling myself one last time
That I?d believe the lie
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Love For Sale
I freeze dried my heart and
Shrink wrapped it in a bag
And marked it up as
On special offer
Past sell by date
Now it sits in my fridge
Next to last night?s take-away
I can deliver for free
If you live within
Ten miles or so
Call to collect or postage paid
Maybe I could pass it out
My window like a drive-through
Or you can always
Just drive on by
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Loser?s Game
Let me spend the next few hours
Telling you what I mean
And you can spend it telling me
Nothing of what you?ve seen
Let me show you lives I?ve led
Revealing all I am
And you can give one small glimpse
To do with what I can
Adjustment is my working trade
Bending to your will
Tell me have you the price to pay?
When it comes to face the bill?
Let me give you a taste of this
The man that I?ve become
You can let me feed from scraps
Thrown from where you?re from
Raise the target, my aim is true
Take the points you score
But when this game is done
You?ll still want for something more
Adjustment is my working trade
Bending to your will
Tell me have you the price to pay
When it comes to face the bill?
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Maybe If
And maybe I just like it that
You are always in the wrong
Truth will out
Insecure me
And maybe I am good at this
Making you think it's you
Truth will out
Insecure me
But in my dreams
I?m a different man
Trying to live my life
To be all I can
And maybe I will stay alone
Truth will out
Insecure me
And maybe I will be tonight
Just what I always seem to you
Truth will out
Insecure me
But in my dreams
There?s another man
Trying his best all ways
To do all he can
And maybe I will say to you
Living with you all but killed me
Truth will out
Insecure me
And what if I turn round now
And walked away from this
Truth will out
Insecure me
But in my dreams
I?m another man
Trying so very much
Being who I am
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Turning Point
Did I mistake you for
Someone I thought cared?
And did you think this life
Would forever be shared?
Did you not think that I
Gave you all that I could?
You never held out for
Someone you knew would
So I am sorry if
I failed to deceive
And I can?t change it now
Be the friend that you need
Because as it comes to rest
All I am you deny
I know I gave my best
But your standards where high
You say you speak the truth
So do I stand here and lie?
Its not a given right
To those who can cry
And looking inwardly
Always drove you insane
So you can blame me now
If it helps with the pain
The way we go to now
Is so obvious and clear
Paths leading anywhere
Or a stop sign for here
And its ironic that
As my train pulls away
You?ve not got a ticket
And no means to pay
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The What, When And Why Of It
What did you think
That I'd meant you to say?
What did you hope
Was the price that I'd pay?
When was the point
That you think I went wrong?
When was the time
That I halted our song?
Why did you stop
At this moment just here?
Why not turn round
And face up to this fear?
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Parting Thoughts
So we?re decided then?
This is the best way
We can stay here constrained
Resentment building inside
As we draw each breath
Or we can do this
Depart
Exit stage left
And bring down the curtain
We still have choices you know?
We still have a connection
We can choose to be bitter,
To resent, hate, forget
Or we can look back with tenderness and pride
At what we created
And forward with love and warmth
For what lies ahead
And I know what you will choose
And that makes this parting
Sadder
And I will know, one day,
In another life,
That there was a better way
This will be shown to me
But not to you
You?re have looked away
Already
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