These poems are about things that have affected my life and also about how I try to live life and how I try to make sense of it all.
I Raise A Glass To You - NEW
For The Rocketman - NEW
Reality Is Upon Them - NEW
A Walk At Night - NEW
Loss of Faith - NEW
Unsolved Mysteries - NEW
If I Die - NEW
Dream - NEW
Sing Dance Love - NEW
Home Videos - NEW
Honesty - NEW
Uncertainty
Work Ethic
We Are All A Little
Where I Dream
Extremely Just Me
The Cost
Searching
Remember This
Icarus Rising
Words Don't Say It
Different Perspectives
I Walk Through
Tomorrow?s Day
Strange Day
Missed Mistakes
Unable to settle
Everyday Worries
Down-Time
Gambling Man
Reality Bites
Face Value
Silver Lined
Adjustment
Just Wanted You To Know
I Have A Line
Moments
Learning
Out Of The Storm
Moving On
New Way
I Raise A Glass To You
The bottles nearly empty now
And it is time for bed
But drink and those cold cold sheets
Won?t still my raging head
I cried a little one glass in
For all that lay in store
The partings that will soon be gone
Till they start again once more
I laughed a little after two
But not from any mirth
But the irony of what made me
Crawl down inside the earth
After three I nearly stopped
I said I?d had my fill
But then the thoughts came again
So I drank to make them still
The bottles is quite empty now
And I should go to bed
But drink and those cold cold sheets
Don?t change that which I dread
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I have not seen my life
Paled into reality
As from afar others see
The truth of humanity
Am I a rocket man
I sit here and gaze high
I'm star bound and wayward
Dreaming my dreams
I dare to explore life
But my realm is earthbound
I sacrifice little
In comparison
I have not yet tried
To push a little more
In search of other things
Not just for my self
Content to seek hope
In what is out there
I have not dared die
For that which you care
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Reality Is Upon Them
The child sits in the car face to the window
The world passes by as her world falls behind
Further away with the miles into the unknown
The sense of adventure and excitement
Replaced now by the knot of anxiety in her stomach
And the knowing that something had changed
Into something her mind cannot yet conceive
Reality is upon her anticipated yet unexpected
With all the sharpness of a paper cut or car crash
The father sits at home face to the window
The world static outside, tumbles and churns inside
As untravelled miles speed by the unknown draws near
The sense of adventure and excitement
Felt only for others replaced now by the pain in his heart
And the knowing that everything had changed
Into something his mind never dared to imagine
Reality is upon him brutally vivid and stunning
With all the sharpness of a paper cut or car crash
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Loss of Faith
Unfathomable
Imponderable
Undeniable
Insistent
Reality dawns
Day dreams fade
And the nightmares
Sense their time is now
Amongst us
The ragged flock gather
Kneeling like craven images
Worshipping fate?s whims
And the faith of destiny
As the dogs of tomorrow
Worry at their heels and
The vultures of time past
Circle and light their path
Abandon all hope
At the dream-dashed doors
Fall upon dream-died alters
Of whim and fancy as
Those pacts we enter into
When we confessed the ideals
Of hope and something other
Are shown to be misbegotten
Reality dawns
Day dreams fade
And the nightmares
Know their time is now
Amongst us
Unfathomable
Imponderable
Undeniable
Insistent
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A Walk At Night
Many hours past
The sun had shed its solitary tear
Beyond some distant horizon
The ink black night lays ahead
Moon bereft and soulless
I owned nights like these
I lay claim to these long forsaken streets
Know them for what they were
Abandoned through fares to a better life
Deadends from briefly opened doorways
Havens from dreamtime and living
From the wanting something more
And the having it tomorrow
My shadow less footfall
Like tears ripped from my eyes
Mark out my time and my place
Irregular, unmeasured, staccato
Echoed by the jangle of glass on still air
From milk bottle drunk cats
My night, my streets, my homecoming parade
The ink black night lays ahead
Moon bereft and soulless
Honey, I?m home!
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Unsolved Mysteries
My thoughts drip
Rainbow bright
On vitriol black
Like oil on clear water
Disparate and random
Shifting and transient
No chemistry here
No reaction possible
To emulsify or transform
Agitation is a state of mind
Chaos my natural order
Uncertainty a constant
Equations of the mind
Affairs of the heart
Paradigm and paradox
Unsolved and unproven
Eternal quest to reach
The conclusion of life
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If I Die
I thought last night
That if I die
What would I leave behind
A life with all the juice sucked dry
The pips, the skin, the rind
Or would I find
That if I die
There?s things that I regret
A life spent missing half chances
And things I?d not done yet
I hope that when
I come to die
The last thing that I think
Is that there?s hardly anything left
In the glass from which I drink
And for all those
That if I die
I would leave alone
I hope I gave them something more
Than I have ever known
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Dream
I once had a dream
Of you in that dress
You entered the room
Like a warm caress
And I didn?t know why
And I didn?t care less
Just you in the room
And the tenderness
I was living a dream
Alone in that place
High up on the hill
The wind in my face
I was feeling you near
As I stared into space
The smile on your lips
Your sensual grace
I woke from a dream
In an empty bed
Remembering you
And all that you said
Wanting to go back
Where waking I?d fled
Wanting it to be real
Not inside my head
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Sing Dance Love
Sing
Clear and elfin-like
Bring light to our world
Through your voice
As the sun brings light
To the darkest night
Dance
Wild and uncaring
Let joy in your heart
Flow through your limbs
Dervish wild and untamed
As any tempest wind
Love
Give and be loved by
Abandoned and free
Of pain and ache-fear
Beyond all your pasts
The future starts now
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Home Videos
Hit stop, rewind
Then try playback
What does it lack?
Record anew
From this angle
Overwrite, that?s it
New scenes, fresh themes
Cannot edit
Record anew
Lacking perfect
New part, fresh start
The same result
Playback
Hold back
Repeat
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Honesty
There?s a lesson in life
That hard to learn
Its being honest
At every turn
You think you help
With saying less
Little white lies
Justified I guess
And though it seems
The truth hurts more
At least you know
Just what?s the score
And people think
About what you say
Apply their truth
And then dismay
Don?t give them room
For any doubt
Trust their soul
They?ll work it out
Its just not fair
To leave them room
To feed their fears
To seal their doom
In truth we seek
All answers to
Leave pain behind
Move on anew
So always say
Just how you feel
Pour your heart out
And keep it real
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Uncertainty
I?m trying to work out
What I don?t understand
I?m trying to reach out
For an invisible hand
I shift from so certain
To not quite unsure
I know where my path lies
Yet don?t know what for
I know I am tired
And my judgement is shot
I?m trying to work out
What exactly I?ve got
I walk through my life
Knock on every door
I know all the controls
Just not what they?re for
My madness is in me
My sanity real
Emotions overwhelm me
Confuse how I feel
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Work Ethic
Take this brick and make it fly
Never stop to question why
Push uphill this rock I found
Never think to turn around
Work and graft and sweat and bleed
Trying harder to succeed
Slowly failing, moving fast
Merge this day into the last
Bend to their will here?s the way
Earn your crust, make you pay
Give up time for what they lack
Lull you in and stab your back
Work and graft and sweat and bleed
Trying harder to succeed
Slowly healing, ageing fast
Pinned my colours to their mast
Clearly now it can but fail
Endless game of Pin The Tail
Stop and see the truth we face
That life is not just a rat race
Work and graft and sweat and bleed
Trying harder to succeed
Slowly dawning, leaning fast
What?s important, home at last
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We Are All A Little
We are all a little sorry
All a little stained
All a little full of regret
Not knowing why it rained
We are all a little unsure
All a little drained
All a little hurt too much
By the scars we gained
We are all a little humble
All a little shamed
All a little putting out
The fires that we flamed
We are all a little fragile
All a little pained
All a little falling apart
Bound by fear and chained
We are all a little wary
All a little tamed
All a little trusting less
To give up what remains
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Where I Dream
Sleep, take me
Ease my fears
Steal my tears
Take the years
Sleep, take me
Make this night
New daylight
Yearn for sight
Sleep, take me
Where I run
Shadows shun
I belong
Sleep, take me
Somewhere new
Not this view
Without you
Sleep. take me
From my past
Make it fast
home at last
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Extremely Just Me
Set me alight, I know you try
But I am burnt not tinder dry
At this moment I've got stuck
And I am damaged, out of luck
I am empty, soul bereft
I cannot give there's nothing left
I keep on finding ways and means
To make it harder than it seems
It feels I'm moving nowhere fast
Running forwards, to the past
So I am taking time alone
Isolated, on my own
Now I'm learning, to be free
So I can find just who to be
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The Cost
Someone outside is
Crying tonight
And I wish to God it was me
And somewhere right now
A child wants her dad
And her dad wants to set her free
Sadness is all I
Seem to create
I wonder if I really see
That something I want
And search for so long
Traps others while setting me free
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Searching
Took a stroll down lonely lane
Superficial attempt
To soothe the pain
Tried to remind myself again
What?s going on
Why I never stay the same
Its all a part of the game
This moving on
This staying sane
And I feel so tired, feel lame
Never gonna run
To make that train
So I turn back up lonely lane
Hands in pockets
Into the rain
Move on
Stay the same
Move on
Stay the same
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Remember This
When it feels like it won?t stop
And you want for something more
You may turn and face the truth
Yet don?t know what lies in store
Fall back on inner strength
To protect you from the pain
Because sometimes you will win
And sometimes you?ll loose again
When you fail to calm the storm
And it can?t get any worse
When the day brings no relief
Yet sleeping?s somehow?s hurts
Know that you are in control
And your self remains your own
You have choices on your side
Even when all hope has flown
And there?s truth in what you say
I know this seem?s so unfair
Just because I can?t move on
Don?t think that that I don?t care
I will watch you on your way
As you shine again once more
And the sun will shine again
So much brighter than before
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Icarus Rising
Incandescent
A shooting star
In my night's sky
I wanted to fly
In the slipstream
Of your mind
What fancy is this?
That I?m made light
Born on wind
Care-free, reckless
Soaring higher
I reach to you
Enter your flightpath
Like some love-crazed
Icarus
Delight then ignite
And in freefall I
Wonder still
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Words Don't Say It
I want to take it all in
Too many names but yet I
Know them
And too many tears to weep
The pain hurts me but I just
Let it
Too many feelings inside
Can?t sort them out but I still
Feel them
It?s too much pain felt anew
Even if it breaks me I?ll
Let it
Too many thoughts in my head
They go round, but don?t want to
Stop them
And too much to say right now
And words, they just don?t seem to
Say it
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Different Perspectives
Nervously
We sat across the table
Dancing around the point
For an hour or two
We skirted the issues
And I was laying low whilst
You were seeing us draw nearer
Feeling more nervous as
I told you what I want
And I couldn?t help it but
It wasn?t meant to hurt
It is just where I?m at
Right now
Right now
It is just where I?m at
It wasn?t meant to hurt
And I couldn?t help it but
I told you what I want
Feeling more nervous as
You were seeing us draw nearer
And I was laying low whilst
We skirted the issues
For an hour or two
Dancing around the point
We sat across the table
Nervously
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I Walk Through
I walk through this world
Looking for provocation
In his voice
Or her eyes
And your face
And your lies
I walk through this world
Looking for inspiration
In that town
Or this street
On your patch
On your beat
I walk through this world
Looking for revelation
In some deed
Or some act
From your life
From your pact
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Tomorrow?s Day
Newflash!
Tomorrow?s day
Will be much better
They said this on TV
Do they mean the weather,
Or just my state of mind?
Update!
Tomorrow?s day
Can?t be any worse
So I shall sit here
And wait for the day?s dawn
To light my state of mind
Headline!
Tomorrow?s day
Has arrived here early
Outside it might
But inside the sun shines
Its just a state of mind
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Strange Day
I sat on the train today
And a lady across from me
Kind of smiled as if to say
I know where you are going
I sat down next to her
Looked into her eyes
?Where does this train go??
I asked, and she replied
?Let it just drift on by
Take a look outside
Out of the window
The view is just getting interesting?
I said ?what will I see??
And she looked?confused
?Its always different? she said
Not for me I thought to myself
?Aaaah but there is a catch?
She whispered, as her eyes closed
She was smiling again now
I looked out of the window
It was always raining
?What catch?? I asked
?First you have to believe?
Still whispering, inide my head now
And the clouds broke and I caught
A brief ray of sunlight
Fleetingly
But when I turned back to her
More questions on my lips
Like ?teach me?please?
?Show me??
?How??
She was gone
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Missed Mistakes
You didn?t know that if
You?d turned the page
You?re life could have
Changed
In the simple flick
Of a wrist, involuntarily
Or a glance of you eye,
Downwards
Yet what import
That action would have
For you and I
Later
When I was alone
I turned the page
And saw the words
I thought
Friend! Loved one!
Whom I could do
Anything for and more
What if
Chance dealt that hand
And it was you who
Turned that page
Not me
Would I still be able
To help you and
Could words, written
Spoken
Mean that much
Change one?s volition
Move one?s world
Forever?
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Unable to settle
Sitting here alone just now
Strumming my guitar
Singing are you everything?
My ever shining star?
Pacing round my room all day
I ask is your heart mine?
Are you all we?ll ever be?
Will this last all time?
Lying on my own tonight
Sleepless in my bed
Trying to escape from thought
I?m aching in my head
Walking round to your house
Know the price I?ll pay
Just about to ring your bell
I turn and walk away
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Everyday Worries
Am I liked?
Am I loved?
Am I pushed?
Am I shoved?
Am I keen?
Or not fussed?
In the know?
Or non-plussed?
Do I go?
Do I stay?
Do I work?
Do I play?
Do I fret?
Or just chill?
Halfway up?
Or down the hill?
Will I win?
Will I loose?
Will I heal?
Will I bruise?
Will I slide?
Or stay controlled?
Stay in jail?
Or be parolled?
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Screaming
Sometimes
I want to unleash
Let go and scream
Top of my voice
Depth of my soul
Screaming
Sometimes
Until my breath dies
And my voice cracks
Until Throat-sore
And Heart-raw
Screaming
Sometimes
For all the pain
The self-control
The bitter times
The misplaced lines
Screaming
Sometimes
When it felt wrong
When it seems right
This happy-sad
This hard won me
Screaming
Sometimes
But only rarely
Do
I
Scream
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Down-Time
Like a car crash
Bang smash
Whip-lash
Up in a flash
Like a bad trip
Blank skip
Mind flip
Reality slip
Day is fading fast
Night coming on strong
Here for a short time
I turned to find it gone
Like a nightmare
Sleep fear
Big scare
Going nowhere
Like a lost sense
Past tense
Pretense
Out of sequence
Night is here to stay
Day?s not coming round
Wanting to drift along
But fell down to the ground
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Gambling Man
And I wanted to capture
That moment with you
I thought I was winning
Yet somehow I just knew
Each time at the table
Every time I believe
The stakes just get higher
Yet still I can?t leave
But when it comes close
It also slips away
Left with my hands empty
And what else can I say?
And next time it happens
And I start to loose sight
I may just walk away
Alone into the night
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Reality Bites
I hear the words
I don?t believe
I see your eyes
Do they deceive?
I want this now
I know the score
I start to feel
Been there before
Is it a surprise
That I agonise
Over all of this
When all of that
Turned out flat
I want the touch
Is it too real
To kiss your lips
What do I feel?
Do I feel close?
Or feel at all?
So I stay far
Back to the wall
Is it a surprise
That I hear lies
In all of that
When all of this
Is hit or miss
And I fall from grace
With consummate ease
Turn winter?s chill
From summer?s breeze
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Face Value
Accept me, reject me
Just don?t dissect me
I?m not the one
You should cut up
Make me, break me
But never fake me
I?m not the one
Who?s putting it on
My hearts on my sleeve
Where its always been
Don?t mistake it for
The troubles you?ve seen
Doubt me, believe me
Just don?t deceive me
I?m not the one
Who played the games
Leave me, take me
But never mistake me
I?m not the one
Who?s something else
And I?ll lay it open
For anyone to see
I?ve never believed in
Any other way to be
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Adjustment
I need someone who
Can sort out my head
To show me the way
The path they have led
I want a song now
To explain how I feel
Music that will soothe
To clarify, to heal
Her music it sang
But faded somehow
I wish it could still
Sing to me now
I can just hear its tune
A familiar refrain
Sustaining and solace
Through all the pain
I strive to capture
My thoughts at that time
When it was so simple
When this life was mine
So give back my music
That I can live by
So I can know now
The truth from a lie
So I can give you
All that I can be
So I can explain
The truth that I see
I want to help out with
You?re brand new start
To show you a truth
That sets you apart
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Just Wanted You To Know
When did it all change for you
And what did it feel like
Was there loss and saddness?
Or did it just feel right?
You never meant to do all this
Didn?t get too carried away
You were only ever just yourself
There?s nothing you need say
Nothing you could change at all
I want to say tonight
No way to play it differently
You did every thing right
Of anyone out there I should know
I could have seen the signs
I spoke of this reality, though
Didn?t read between the lines
I just hoped for something more
Was that so much to ask?
That what could never really be
Could in fact just last
But as I sort these feelings out
And try to work this through
One thing that?s certain in my head
I will be a friend for you
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I have a Line
Let me show you the places I?ve been
The good and the bad, the soul and the sin
Absolution? You looking?
Resolving? Come on in!
I have a good line for giving in
Let me show you just where I am at
The headache and heartache, all this and all that
Understanding? You looking
Educating? Come on in!
I have a good line for stepping back
Let me show just you where I can go
All of the paces that are out there I know
Happiness? You looking?
Travelling? Come on in!
I have a good line for going slow
Let me show you inside of my soul
The places where my inside would stroll
Satisfaction? You looking?
Pacifying? Come on in!
I have a good line for lying low
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Moments
Some moments you want to last always
And never let them go
Hold them in a time a space
Where everything goes slow
Some moments can never come too soon
And in between?s not real
You wait for them until its time
And all the rest don?t feel
Some moments you just want to pass
And move on to the new
You put up with the pain of them
And hope that they are few
Some moments are just nothing much
Neither this or that
They drift along at their own speed
Not knowing what they?re at
But all the moments in your life
Count for something more
Than most people often realise
Or give them credit for
Live them then, every one
As if they were your last
When they are done you may move on
But those moments they are past
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Learning
?how simple it can all become,
when you learn to let go?
?the pain and ache, can depart,
but how are we to know?
?that not feeling, denies something,
but feeling too much can slow?
?the journey to another place,
that?s not so bad to know,
where possibilities are all around?
?and something new can grow.
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Out of The Storm
We slid from lovers into friends
I can?t remember how
And it could fill me with despair
If its all I thought of now
But before you I was someone
And with you I was more
If now I can?t be better still
What was what happened for?
From the past I drag my mind
And now ahead I look
My storey was made richer as
A page turns in my book
You taught me so much in our time
And for these things I care
The memories whilst they?re fondly kept
The past is left back there
You taught me so much in our time
And so I face the sun
This friendship takes me forward now
I can be again someone
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Moving On
Love surrounds me
Wraps me, completely
Can?t breathe, don?t want to
Blinds me, no view
Eyes opened, sharply
Readjust, forget the need
Remember her, don?t want to
See anew, a different view
Moving on, ever up
Drink of wine, fills the cup
Empty now, still its true
Take what?s left, review
Try to
Want to
Can?t do
But will do
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A New Way
A key for a lock
A time to take stock
To feel me again
Whole again
Stroll again
Out of the rain again
And into the sun.......
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