Ok so hear's the crack - post me comment on a song and artist that I really should be listening too ... in return I'll send you onw.....you pretty much roughly know my tastes so surprise me with something new and I'll try and return the favour :))
posted by Listener at 10:20 PM
Just got girls to bed and realised they go home tomorrow :((((
Will psot more later - just surfin' at the mo :)
posted by Listener at 9:54 PM
Friday, August 30, 2002
Hmmm - well tbh I am tired from yesterday's travelling so I'm gonna chill in front of TV - it may take a few days to get around to catching up with everyone and stuff and I have tired eyes for the mo - nn :))
posted by Listener at 10:53 PM
So where to begin ? - this could be a long post but I'll try to make it interesting. I cannot quite describe how wonderful our holiday was - it just was - it was my time with the girls and I wanted it to be wonderful memories for us, I wanted it to have fun and get close and be a family and have a lovely chilled exciting time - it was all of these things. The girls made loads of nice friends and had lots of fun - and I did to I met loads of lovely people and it was the best - Florida last year remains a highlight because we did the Disney parks and that was just so exciting but in many this was better - I spent most of the holiday with a huge smile on my face thinking how lucky I am :))
So we went to Majorca for two weeks and stayed at the Mariner's Apartments. There is always an element of luck with package holidays you never quite know what you're getting or what the photos don't show, but this looked like it would suit us. I had to book night-flights as I couldn't afford daytime ones so we didn't arrive until 5am! The room was small and hot - but clean and comfortable. We immediately crashed and awoke in time for the rep's welcome speech. These always make me laugh as they are 95% useless (being mostly a sales pitch for overpriced day-trips) and rather cornily delivered. However more importantly the girls got signed up for kids club. They then went for a swim and I settled poolside to chill and check the place out.
The complex was excellent it was secluded, safe and secure - it was well-run, friendly and had loads for the kids to do, we ended up pretty much staying around the hotel all day and all night (we did a few trips) but the girls just wanted to play with their friends. So we tended to stay at the hotel.
Rather than bore you with a day by day account here some highlights :))
The girls loved the kids club which went from 4-6pm daily (and a bonus 7-9pm three times a week), it was air-conditioned and the reps were totally ace - which meant I got some total chill out time each day too :))
The hotel entertainer (Tina) was totally ace too, very talented and funny and kept the adults and kids going with a variety of 'holiday-camp' style games which just seemed entirely appropriate and not in the least bit naff :))
I was Ally McCoist for a night as team captain in Question of Sport - and we won ;-)
I was also team captain for The Battle of The Sexes but we lost that - tho we won the drinking round which is surely the most important one ;-)
We learnt the dances to Follow the Leader and La Bomba which were ace fun - oh and Mimic Man which was just very silly - anyone want instructions - lol ??? :)
It rained for three days over the whole holiday but we were having such fun it really didn't matter.
We made loads of friends, in particular Tina and Wayne and their girls Hannah and Katie in the first week and in the second Ian and Vee and Ian's daughter Porscha and Niki and her daughter's Jodie and Emily. I spent the whole second week with Ian Vee and Niki and we had a right laugh - the hotel staff thought we had actually all come out together!!! We stayed up playing card games until 5.30am one night and another night Ian and I got busted by the night porter for building pyramids out of sun loungers (the top one nearly slid off into the pool!!). and of course there were midnight swims and just lots of fun.
Some nights when Kate got tired I took her up to bed and sat on the balcony waiting for Bryony (she was allowed out till the music stopped - at mid-night - and would come running back up saying sorry she was late at mid-night+30 seconds - lol - wonder how long such promptness with 'be-home-by-times' will last ;-) But seriously it was nice that the place was secure enough I could give her a bit of responsibility and free-reign, tho my balcony overlooked the dance area and the friends I made looked out for her anyway so whilst she thought she was 'out on her own' she wasn't really.
Watermelon - lots of it - Yum :))
I really, really didn't want to come home and had a tear in my eye as the others got 'When Will I See You Again' dedicated to me and the girls on our last night and we all danced in a circle arm in arm.
Loved the c-list cabaret acts - Davidoff the dodgy magician, a kind of European traditional dance and acrobatic act (one part being a woman in a silk tube holding two light-bulbs and striking poses so that the tube stretched over her body - not sure if it was meant to be erotic or what!) and the Senegalese International Ballet Troupe - the girls kept saying there'd be "African woman with big boobies hanging out" which we treated with some skepticism as it was a family hotel - so it was very funny in the second half when they were enacting some traditional love story that yep sure enough off came this girls dress and she spent 5 minutes doing a wild frenetic traditional dance topless - there were a few boys sat around with their families quite obviously wanting to get a good look but aware their parents were sat next to them - lol ;-)
I slipped poolside and instead of just falling in I tried to catch my balance and ended up falling half-in and half out the pool - Ouch - I had a HUGE bruise on my hip :(
Me and Ian dressed up in the kids club T-shirts and crashed the kids club and got prizes and certificates and everything - we also crashed the kids disco that evening ;-)
Bryony entered the disco competition and talent show and I was really proud that she overcame her stage fright and went for it :))
Katherine won the Boules competition :)
Spanish drinks measures (for me Jack Daniels and coke) consist of a glass, some ice, half filled with spirit and half with mixer - pretty strong - great :)
I started a game with Katherine and a couple of her friends lifting them onto the podium in the center of the pool and then trying to get on myself and letting myself be pushed back in - soon other kids got involved and I spent ages lifting several children up one by one - and being splashed and dunked until I managed to get up and took my revenge by throwing them all in :)) Of course this had to be repeated several times over the next few days - and I never just got into the pool I always had to be pushed in!
Thursdays and Sundays were the big changeover days - there was plenty of space, sunbeds and umbrellas round the pool but the n00bies would always be up early to book there places the next day so one Sunday evening (about 1 am) Ian and I grabbed 4 sunbeds and 6 umbrellas and baggsied our own little corner of the pools - it wasn't until 11ish when we still hadn't even bothered using it that people started coming over and taking the umbrellas - as we watched form the balcony ;-)
Listening to that same welcome speech just as flatly given every other day!!!!!!
I'm not hugely vain but do like getting a tan - I'm lucky that I tan quite easily so don't need to sit for hours in the sun (which I hate) but can chill in the shade during the hot mid-day hours and still tan - I at least look like I've been on holiday and have a white bum to prove it (which always looks a little silly I think!) ;))
Its funny how despite almost constant 'pop' music being played and the general noise of people playing and having fun poolside how totally relaxing it is too - for me if the girls were happy I was too and they really had the best of fun.
Most importantly of all me and the girls got over two weeks together - they keep saying to me they wish they were back and I'm really going to miss them when they go back on Sunday.
Ok I think that's me done (until I think of some more!) I'm off to check on a few sites and update some bits and pieces on my site.
posted by Listener at 10:12 PM
Hey y'all I'm back - but my heart and mind is still on holiday becuase we had the totally best time ever - have laods to tell later but as we have been travelling all night I'm off to bed for a while :))
Oh yeah and sorry for abrupt ending before going away I had a 'Listener's on holiday' type post planned but my 'net connection decided to go U/S on the morning I was goiung away :((
posted by Listener at 5:57 AM
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Sorry for quietness - been hugely busy at work and sorting stuff out for my hols :)) I got in at 10.30 tonight - though aprtly my fault for not sorting stuff out earlier maybe - lol :)
Had loads to say this week, picking up on some interesting themes out there.....and wanted to get around to all my links.....but haven't!! :(
Anyhow it will all wait till I get back - will drop a goodbye post tomorrow - I have some ironing to do :))
posted by Listener at 11:12 PM
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
*memo to self* I just edited this post from orignial time around 10pm (original in drafts) *memo ends*
Spent evening sorting paperwork - got through some of it. Just broke off for a read of my links.
Chris(az) and Odin have been talking about blogs and privacy - would that I had more time to expand - none of my family really know about this site (they know I have a site just not what its about), two or three close friends know, no-one at work knows (and it'll stay that way too hopefully)....and of course D. and that feels just about right mostly.
I started this blog at a time I was in a very low and strange place, it rapidly beame a place I could come to to 'forget' and to make some order to my jumbled thoughts. Now I find sometimes I wish I could use it that way again.....not big-time-heavy....which is why its ok....and that's maybe a good thing too....especially as I can always turn to poetry to write things about how I feel.........
Finally I was trying to help Ellen with B;logAmp - does anyone know how to make it work/if it works with Blogspot or only on your own owned domains? I think it won't work but maybe I'm wrong - pop a comment here if you have any ideas please :))
posted by Listener at 1:29 AM
Oh fuck it....here's some interesting paradoxes (paradoxii???) for you:
I'm crap at talking so I'll tell you I had a miserable week....because of you.........but then fall silent and won't talk about it.
And I know you're really busy and are going on hols.........but now I want to talk about it so you have one evening less to get ready.
Yeah k, a tad unfair and will prolly regret this deeply but................this is how I feel right now.....not earlier, not tomorrow, not forever.....but now......and I don't actually want to feel like this
posted by Listener at 1:21 AM
Bah! Can't sleep - me's fecked off and worried.....and I CAN'T SLEEP!!!!!
Forgot to add RollingStone.com link which has some cool playlists and downloads.....hmmm gonna try again to sleep!
posted by Listener at 1:13 AM
Unfortunately this may seriously impact my time this week as I will have to work lateish to clear and handover things :((
Oh yeah and pack - YAY!!! :))
So if not much goes up here this week then me's just busy - I'll say goodbye before I go tho ;-))
posted by Listener at 7:18 PM
Sunday, August 11, 2002
LOL - try the Pull-o-meter some Sunday Inanity (yes it is a word really - I just decided!!) :))
I got Shy Guy Always in control, and that often works out the best on a holiday night out, But stop playing it so safe! We know its not cool to get wasted, but you need to let down your hair and live a little! Perhaps a bit of dutch courage will give you that pep you need to go for it a bit more.
A quick post in the middle of a lovely chilled weekend :))
Friday was pretty good fun, we got a coach up to Warwick Castle (see Thusday's post) and had a few beers en route, the castle is lovely,the grounds are quite atmospheric, dinner was fun with a nedieval entertainment these - I got pretty drunked and am sure there's a few things forgotten en route - tho I do remember singing a rendition of Moulin Rouge on way back to coach!!!!!!!!!!!!! We got in around 2.30am.
Yesterday D. and I layed in...till around 5pm!!! Then came over to the flat and I cooked a roast dinner (yum!) and we watched Lord of The rings on DVD (its a bargain in Tesco's folks £19, £14 if you spend £50 on shopping!!!!) and some o the additional bits - the trailer for The two Towers is cool - I can't wait - some of the other bits were a bit repetitive as they used the same cast sound-bites throughout - still totally ace tho :))
Today we may take a walk, a bike ride or go up to London - still not sure.
posted by Listener at 12:02 PM
Thursday, August 08, 2002
I can't take credit for the style/technique of this I will post the inspiration for it tomorrow - I'm just hugely excited to have made it work!
Different Perspective
Nervously We sat across the table Dancing around the point For an hour or two We skirted the issues And I was laying low whilst You were seeing us draw nearer Feeling more nervous as I told you what I want And I couldn’t help it but It wasn’t meant to hurt It is just where I’m at Right now
Right now It is just where I’m at It wasn’t meant to hurt And I couldn’t help it but I told you what I want Feeling more nervous as You were seeing us draw nearer And I was laying low whilst We skirted the issues For an hour or two Dancing around the point We sat across the table Nervously
posted by Listener at 11:53 PM
Spent the early evening tidyng the flat and in particular the girls room and getting their hand luggage ready for our holiday :)
I then had a lovely chat with the lovely Ariel about life the universe and everything - my universe is certainly a more orderly place now - thnx hun :))
I'm gonna write some poetry.....tomorrow I am off to Warwick Castle for a works do - can't wait should be ace :)))
posted by Listener at 11:27 PM
I got rid of my wishlist when I discovered it wasn't meant to be an informative link ot the things you liked but a none to subtle hint to people to buy it for you (btw has anyone ever given/recieved anything from a wishlist other than firends - they don't count!)....but anyway I so want this but can't afford it at the mo - anyone want to exchange it for services rendered - lol - all offers considered I'm quite talented really!!! ;o)
posted by Listener at 5:42 PM
I've been in a funny mood this week but woke up this morning and decided to get on with it, put the cares to one side and have an I'm Fine day :)
The weatherman had said on the TV that we wouldn't get the rains we had last night - lol -five minutes after leaving the house it chucked it down! The drive in was still ace - lots of top music on shuffle play - came off the motorway early and went the back way which was fun as the roads were flooded from the thunder storm last night (which was cool), I came round a bend with a lorry coming the other way that splashed water over me - I was frantically trying to shut the window but wasn't so successful and got a bit...er...soaked - lol ;-)
I had a strong urge to stop the car, go into a field and dance in the rain and get soaked wet thru.....can you relate to that?
I was trying to remember a song on the way in - Kiss the Rain- or Its the Rain? Sung by a male vocal/band, maybe early 90s? - kinda dramatic...something like Kiss the Rain.....duh duh duh...whenever you ''something - leave?'' any ideas?
Oh and can anyone think of a happy song with rain in it? Its Raining Men isn't allowed - lol!!!!
posted by Listener at 9:01 AM
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
Went surfin around and added a couple of top links Roo and Monkey both via Ariel I have been dropping into trecently and so added to my blogroll :)
I also found Kennematic which I liked lots and from where I got the news of Bloggers Next Blog try it over on the right hand panel :)
posted by Listener at 10:57 PM
Well I took the Personality Test but seemed to score low on everything - does this make me boring? Maybe because every question had very or always in it I didn't feel inclined to answer many affirmatively - generally I'm pretty even keeled with odd, occasional bouts of lowness or anger.....
I am stuck at work waiting on contirbutions to a report I have to do so thought I'd out my time to good use - and then got bored of replying to work emails so thought I'd blog instead :)
posted by Listener at 6:46 PM
Melancholic #1
I feel the tears Coming And I know why I sense my fears Rising From where they lie
I took the turns Blindly Out of control I lived my life Wildly All rock and roll
I knew the price Mounting Crossed the line My debtors close Hounding Its payback time
Next-time winner Really? Because I try? Seeking something Lasting My truth, this lie
Melancholic #2
I got up to leave this time But stayed a while instead Told you some of this and that Not what was in my head
I woke up and turned to you I ached to up and go Instead I just held you close Too scared to let it show
I stood out upon that bridge Thinking I could fly Fooling myself one last time That I’d believe the lie
I love watching sport - I really like watching athletics - I remember many times ove rthe past ten years watching Paula Radcliffe. as a long distance runner she thrives on her stamina and overall race pace but she doesn't have a sprint finish and in years gone by she has rarely won because of that, often being caught in the last 200m or so and giving many athletes some exceptional times as well. This year she just seems to have found extra strength, an ability to run even faster constanbtly throughout the race, she did this in the Commonwealth Games, destroyed the field in laps 3 to6 with a pace they couldn't match. She's doing it again tonight at the European Champions - she has 150m lead, she' clocked 71 sec for the first 10 laps - running from the front is hard, it requires discipline and nerve and strength - she's awesome - Go Girl!! :))
posted by Listener at 8:38 PM
My I'm in a starnge mood these days - can't put my finger on it - I feel....flat which is kinda unlike me really, even if things are getting me down I can normally raise some energy and a smile. I think its a combo of things; work, worried about me mum, time (or lack of it)....maybe I just need a holiday - lol - which is good because I am off to Majorca next week with the girls :))
Think I'll take the time to let some thoughts settle in my head - can't say I'm gonna think about much because its my time with the girls so it will be chilled and fun....but in not thinking for a while I often find it helps to somehow order things in ones mind so that when you turn back to think on them again decisions are easier!
Anyhow am off to Pub quiz :))
posted by Listener at 8:17 PM
YAY! I'm going home (from work) and out (to the quiz)....meanwhile elsewhere on the net.....
Mike Oldfield has come up with something that looks quite fascinating - Music VR (Virtual Reality) - its on the back of a new album which will be released with a demo verison of a game - its not like any other game (apparently), there's no killing, no points scoring, no storeyline or adventure - its just a massive world that you can explore - it sounds fascinating - I wonder if there'll be an on-line version where you can talk to other people as you explore?
posted by Listener at 7:22 PM
My natural inclination is to be *warm* in comments.....particularly in meials (before my blog life) I'd sign of 'love...me....xxx' or something similar...I didn't do that at first.....blog shyness?.....now I just think 'fuck it'...so if ypu get love and/or hugs and/or 'xxx's' .......I hope you enjoy ;-))
Gosh at the risk of sounding repetitive but I so love an evening havin a glass of wine...chilling....surfoing.....writing ....stuff....lol or shouyld that be lai - laughs allowed ironically.....will it catch on? :))
posted by Listener at 11:45 PM
Ignorance is not knowing something.....stupidity is refusing to question something.
Ignorant people generally don't know what they don't know, they may be too shy, embarrassed,...even too happy-to-ask....to find the answers....this is ok....ignorance is not a crime......but stupid people breed negativity ...I like learning...I see each new encounter, opportunity...a chance to learn....to be interesting and interested....it doesn't take much....people should let go, improve on.....take the best from the past and use it for the best in the future....don't be stupid....don't hold on to things that make you bad or hate or bigoted,,,,,,,
Rants like this are over simplistic I know...and even unsubstantiated....but...well.....just imagine....you are at best caring and loving to the people that really matter....and at worst neutral...ambivalent.....
Isn't that better than hating or getting yourself so bunged up with negativity you spoil your life!!!
This is an abstract concept....prompted by stuff around on blogs today and my experiences in particular:
I saw and spoke to my ex-mother-in-law this weekend....at the girls' award ceremony....a happy occasion surely....I said hello...I didn't want to talk, to pass the time of day, to chew the fat, to have a DMC....just say hello, be civil in front of the girls...she looked away with a look of disgust that revealed such....hatred?...such....loathing...that she had to be in the same room as me.....how sad is that!
The girls' step grandma on the other hand came up to me and said 'you must be so proud of your daughter' and I was and told her so, and shook hands as it was the first time I had properly met her....it wasn't much...and I know the girls think the world of her....and their step-dad too....and that makes me feel warmth...to them for being such good people...and for the girls...for having a happy and loving environment.....
Bryony asked me if I said hello to her Grandma...I said yes...she asked what she said and the 'she really hates you daddy'....I just said 'well yeah....but its ok' and told her about her step-grandma and that I thought she was lovely.....couldn't this be the definition of irony????
On the other hand....I know someone who almost no matter what....see's the good and beauty in life, in people, in particular people who may be doing them down or making life hard....they give....but more importantly if they can't give they remain neutral.....
I know which of these two people I strive to be..........
If I was still married I would be the shadow of the man who I am today....that's not a justification...but it is a fact!
Found this on Cynthia's site - lol :) I am 50% Internet Addict I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I'm just well connected to the internet and technology, but it's really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer!
Phew am back home - took the girls shopping for some holiday clothes (we're on holiday next time I see them for two weeks of fun in the sun - YAY!!!) and then went to mum and dad's and I fell asleep on the sofa - D'oh! I snored too - which is odd as I had an operation to stop that a couple of years back - think this means I'm putting on a little weight so need to start watching what I eat methinks before it gets out of hand - I'm not massively bothered about how I look but I do feel uncomfortable when I put on weight so like to keep fairly fit etc - maybe go to the gym tomorrow.
K am off to surf and try to finish a couple of peons I've been working on :)
posted by Listener at 8:37 PM
Saturday, August 03, 2002
What a lovely day - but we're all pretty tired afterwards.
We left home at nine to go to the girls' awards ceremony - their paintings were wonderful (pictures will follow!) and it was fun :)
We then headed to the NEC rugby day - I didn't play in the end because it had rained and I only had a pair of oldish trainers with little grip and was worried I'd hurt my back - but it was fun to watch the sevens competition and catch up with some work friends who are from a different office to mine so I don't get to see so much.
The girls had an ace time - there was a really excellent entertainment group who organised games and music (one of them played the drums really well and all the children joined in on various percussion instruments) and fun, there was the biggest bouncy castle in the UK to play on, face painting, free icecream and finally karaoke. The girls made some lovely friends and were really well behaved and I felt very proud of them especially when several people commented how lovely and interesting and fun they were :)) They did about 5 songs on Karaoke with their friends and duets and it was lovely to watch them having such fun - we even gave some people a lift into nearby Richmond on the way home which they enjoyed as they all squashed into the back of the car - we eventually got back at 9 tonight and now they have crashed out :)
now I am tired and may surf a bit or just chill :)
posted by Listener at 10:22 PM
Friday, August 02, 2002
Man, I'm tired - got up at 6.30 and was in work by 7.30 - an hour and a half of emails then three meetings - back to back each 2 hours long. I left work late again to pick the girls up got there at 5.30 instead of 5. Their mum doesn't mind a little lateness these days (oh there were time she did) so it was cool but I missed out on that half an hour and believe me tis precious.
Tomorrow my company has a Rugby 7s fun day - we sponsor the Harlequins so it will be at their ground - I'll play a couple of halves (touch rugby) and it'll be fun - there's bouncy castles and an entertainer, face painting and unlimited ice-cream for the girls to partake of - should be good - we'll get there around 1ish by the time we've done their award ceremony for the art competition which I am also hugely looking forward too.
K, I'm kinda thinking of an early night for a change ;))
posted by Listener at 11:17 PM
Thursday, August 01, 2002
A woman went into a cocktail bar and asked for a double entendre........so the barman gave her one ;-)
posted by Listener at 1:32 PM
Happy Birthday to D. Happy Birthday to D. Happy Birthday to D....eeeeee Happy Birthday to D. :)) xx
posted by Listener at 11:26 AM
Dinner last night was fun - after we curled up and dozed on the sofa listeneing to one D.'s pressies from me - Paul Weller's Modern Classics.
I had the weirdest dream last night - very upsetting actually. the first bit was not important and a bit wierd but for the record I was downstairs at the front door with D. and she went outside dressed in a black cape and mask and rang the doorbell - I answered and we had a strange conversation as if she was the local fuedal lord and I was a peasant - anyhow when she came in I started to not like the 'game' we were playing.
At this point the dream fragmented and there was two of me - one, the dream-me, who had sort of realised he was dreaming and was trying to wake up and the other the 'second-me', 'outside' this body - looking down at me and D. laying on the bed exactly as we had been when I fell asleep - this me was looking at the dream-me - seeing the struggle to wake up out of the dream and tried to wake up to - I remember 'standing' at the end of the bed trying to shake myself and D. awake - trying to scream out not realising that this too was part of the dream.
I got into a real panic that I was never going to wake up - I was convinced the second-me was real and not part of the dream - and both the dream-me and the second-me were trying to get out of the dream - I could feel my eyes scrunching up and tryng to move my body and all the while I could see myself lying there next to D. not moving.
At some point it dawned on me that all of it was a dream and I again panicked that this new realisation was also part of the dream -I was thinking that I'd be in this permanent state of 'new-me's' trying to wake form a dream but still always being in the dream.
At some point I did actually wake up - I was shouting out loud and trying to sit up and woke D. - I was very confused for a few minutes unsure whether it was real and I was awake - I'm glad D. was there to calm me and make me feel real again and eventually fall back asleep (I was a bit scared to go back to sleep in case it happened again).
There are maybe four or five dreams I have had in my life that I rememeber vividly, that seemed so real at the time - this was very real and very scary.
posted by Listener at 10:34 AM
Spirits of love
The souls of the sad
Dance out this tango
In a minor key
Da da da da daaaaah
Take my hand
My dear
My card is marked
With your name
Step as one
This last time
Our final dance
Perfect timing
As the music dies
We take our leave More Of My Poems