I haven't written a poem in ages, I have got several on the go but thought I'd try and stop this writer's block by 'just doin' it', so here's the result......
Frustration
So didn't I love you And wasn't that enough Didn't I hang around When the going got tough Slammed up against All the brick walls you made Trying to break them down With the cute words I said Trying to make you see The your vision's not right That you're better than that That there's no need to fight This war you are waging With your anger that's raging Isn't because of me I'm not your enemy I'm the one thing That may just let you see There is another way For you to finally be Set free
We've had a rush of cool quizzes in recently, one called minipops with little pixelated images of fmaous groups/people tv shows and this movie line quiz although methinks there's a bit of a personal bias/theme in some of the film choices :)
posted by Listener at 7:28 PM
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
The joys of the web - I was looking for airline logos on Google and found this site which has some truly stunning photos of planes doing 'unusual' things on take off and landing......
posted by Listener at 6:54 PM
Monday, October 27, 2003
Cool Quiz....one of those Excel Spreasheet type ones where you have to type in your answers and it tells you if you are correct or not.....am currently up to 60/95 correct and there's at least another 5 I know but can't think of name/remember spelling/some other lame excuse.....enjoy :)
posted by Listener at 1:58 PM
Saturday, October 25, 2003
We went to Greenwich Maritime Museum today which was ace, Greenwich is quite a cool place to wander around as it has some lovely buildings, an interesting market place, and....
We went to see Kill Bill - Volume 1 today. It was quite a stylish cool movie and very, very gorey/violent (which is ok by me if done 'well'). I think its going to be the second part that determines whether this will be really great film; there were lots of plot hooks that could come togehter really well. Either way am really looking forward to it now :)
posted by Listener at 9:25 PM
I picked the girls up from the airport on Thursday (lol luckily I was an early because what I thought was their take off time was actually their landing time and they were waiting for me!!!!!) and we had lunch and popped into Dads. Friday we chilled and went swimming and had pizza night. Saturday was down to my sisters for the day with Dad - which was cool - my sis lives near the beach so we went for a walk down their and had ice-cream - mmmm....took some photos, the first is getting ready....the girls love doing make up and hair with D. especially as she has loads of hair stuff and make up to do it with - heh ;)
And so all too soon Sunday was around and I had to take them back. We chilled again in the morning.....I enjoy just being around the flat doing stuff with them, watching TV, playing on the computer or the piano or game or whatever.....its good just to do normal things. Kate got upset going back to the airport bless her I know how she feels - I am going to go up for the 'day' later in November but I do so hugely miss the regular time with them.......
D. and I are now on a week's holiday form work, yesterday and today was spent at Alton Towers a theme park in the 'Midlands'. Its about 180 miles away so we were up at 5.30 to beat the worst of the round London traffic and we arrived just after 9. We stayed at their 'themed' hotel which was quite a good deal as it has a waterpark attached (see second photo) plus two days entrance to the main theme park. It was pretty quiet there at this time of year so we didn't really queue for anything and got round all the rides we wanted to. Most notable:
Air (see first photo) - a roller coaster you ride horizontally - parallel to the ground which is an awesome feeling, it seems like you can touch the ground and has lots of swoops and glides as well as a section on your back looking at the air before hurtling into a turn.....its quite unique and very cool.
Nemesis - this is just a totally intense rollercoaster which you hang under with feet dangling, its got a loop and a barrel roll and several sharp bends....the best bit is you head down into the ground 3 times and you just can't help but lift your feet up as it feels you are going to drag along the walls or the ground.
Oblivion (see third photo) - this is another 'unique' ride, the worlds first vertical drop rollercoaster. Its awesome and a marvel of ergonomic design as well as the sheer thrill of it. You climb up about 30m or so and roll along to the edge where you hold angled almost vertical. Below is a large sign on the ground which says 'Don't Look Down', you have to lean forward slightly more to see why - a huge feckin hole in the ground you are about to go into!!!! The fact you have to lean out to see it is one part of the cleverness of the design, the second is you hold there just long enough to think three things: first, that's a big hole, second '*suitable expletive*, and third 'when are we going to droooooooooooooooooop' and at about the d of drop you go and it feels like freefall, you hit the tunnel and it goes pitch black and you come out the other side and bank hard left before stopping.
Each of these three are brilliant in their own right, its a toss up between Air and Oblivion for which is the best mainly because they have a 'unique' unconventional element to them......it was just really great fun and lovely to share it with D. We're just looking forward to rest of the week now :)
Waiting to go and collect the girl so thought I'd put some ohotos up.
The first two are of mum and dad and the girls from february just before they went to Scotland, the other ones are me playing with my new camera :)
the last one is from outside my kitchen window which is kinda nice :)
posted by Listener at 10:15 AM
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
OK so its been a weird few days, the girls fly down tomorrow (YAY) but I have beentroubled by anxiety over this in the last few days, its just the first time down since mum died type thing, it'll be alright once they're here. Plans areto visit the crematorium tomorrow on way back here, Friday not so sure yet, Saturday down to my sis and Sunday they're back home.
D. and I hve the following week off - cool - we got an amazing deal for an overnight trip to Alton Towers YAY :)
Then we'll do day trips to London and stuff for the rest of the time :)
Oh an an old m,ate from Bangladesh is in town on Wednesday so we're gonna meet up for a catch up.
Been tweaking....not wholly happy with layout but I have fixed a few dodgy links and probs with how the site nav works.
spent morning watching Rugby -cool - goign to pub later for footie and Dad's tomorrow for England's Rugby World Cup opener :)
posted by Listener at 4:43 PM
Thursday, October 09, 2003
Step 1 - go to Google Step 2 - type in weapons of mass destruction Step 3 - hit I'm Feeling Lucky option Step 4 - read carefully Step 5- laugh
On the subject of Google Google Labs lets you know and try all the stuff they're planning.
Coming home last night the sky was literally a soft shade of pink, looking east the setting sun was this most wonderful brilliant yellow, not egg yolk yellow but electrically vibrantly yellow, I don't remember seeing it like that, it felt 'otherworldly'.......did anyone else in the UK, particularly south of London see this too?
As I said the other day I seem to be noticing the sky a lot and the sunsets this past week have been stunning, I like to imagine my mum has something to do with this......tho she never really knew my fascination for the weather and the sky.....
.....do you think in the future when space travel is a reality we will stand on other planets and look up at the sky and think its anymore beautiful than earth?
And if we do travel to other planets in spaceships and meet other species etc.......what will we make films about? What will science fiction be all about when we achieve what its all about now? and I wonder if we'll look back on this era's sci-fi genre and think its all slightly embarrassing.....and maybe non-politically correct in its portrayal of other races???
I remember reading something once that 90% of all sci-fi is actually just modern day reality with a few bells and whistles.....and skin tight lycra space wear ;) This is kinda true....our imagination of future technology is perhaps less imaginative than say H. G. Wells or early Arthur C. Clark (to name but two).........but then maybe even the most fantastic thing we can think of doesn't seem so 'unachievable' in today's technology full society??? Maybe that is why its the human aspect of such TV/films/media that is so absorbing.....because its hard put to imagine a scenario set in key areas like computing, space travel, genetics etc that would be so surprising and revolutionary.
Hmmm I am sure this discussion should be more rigorously researched and logically constructed.....yeah me's rambling again lol :)
posted by Listener at 6:31 PM
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Listened to my playlist tonight and checked a few sites :)
Ran out for choccie for D and made an origami boat to float in her bath ;)
Can I just warn you now that much of the next month will be devoted to watching The Rugby World Cup....not gonna tempt fate but am looking forward to it hugely, I think I prefer rugby to football to watch - it can be truly awesome to see a player run, no make that dance, through a crowd of other players and make real ground.....or to watch a fully committed 'big hit' tackle where the oncoming plyer is stopped like they've hit a brick wall.....its awesome - and of course extra treat this weekend as England footie try to reach the European Cup finals 'against all odds', most of them being stacked against them by themselves D'oh!!!!!!!
posted by Listener at 10:11 PM
Oh crap! Life is a bit odd at the moment....I feel ok I guess....just very unmotivated......work is ok, challenging still and it keeps me going but just when I think I find some form of equilibrium something reminds me of mum and I feel sad inside.......
I feel I am being unfair to D.
And am hugely pissed off I forgot my best mate Ariel's birthday....well at least it slipped my mind that today was the day....she's not the kinda gal to hold it against me or be upset I know but still feel bad....you know I was at some points thinking of you hun and hope you had an ace party/day :)
I was at the deli counter at the weekly shopping trip to the supermarket yesterday with D. something we rarely do (the deli counter not the weekly shop - lol!!) and I commented about that and then I thought that mum always used to go to the deli, there was always loads of nice stuff in the fridge, it was chock full of food.....the other day I was at dad's and there was a litre of milk (not the larger 3 litres that was usually there) and very little to eat........
And even more sillyly (new word!!) on the Simpsons tonight....the one where Homer tells how he was in a barber shop quartet 8 years earlier (for real fans) there was a bit where they auditioned for the band and one of the people was singing to A Theme From A Summer Place (only he got the words wrong and just sang the title over and over....its a beautiful piece of music....more commonly just orchestral......Listen.....see the thing is this was played as we went into and out of the church at Mum's funeral.......it was something they heard on a radio on honeymoon as they walked down into a cover in Jersey and it would stay with them ever since and whenever they heard it they just did that knowing look thing couples do........so that reminded me and made me a bit sad too......
I have noticed the sky of late.......at this time of year the light changes, the air seems clearer and the light doesn't bleach everything out in brightness like in the main part of summer.....and the clouds have been awesome...the bit of motorway Id rive along to work is up higher than the surrounding land and it really opens out and creates a big sky feel where you can see almost 180 degrees and the clouds have been up high in the sky arcing across it in great rolling expanses yet silver lined with the sun.......I think this is how I feel; dark inside with bright bits on the outside....the bits people see......
I finished The Lovely Bones a quite beautiful book.....I don't believe in heaven as such, though I found the idea in this book, that dwelt on it more as a place to go and heal and grieve and watch and just find....peace....rather than from any prescriptive religious sense, kinda nice.......I know Mum is at peace in whatever form that may be, and I do know her love for us continues, and that if she could/can, she'd know how lucky we all feel to be touched by her life, how she still touches us.............I want to say how we miss her and stuff.......but I guess its more fundamental than that.....its not about negative stuff....the tears, the sadness, the missing, the wanting it to be back how it was........its not just about sorrow and grieving..........its just that all the love, and smiles, and happiness, and caring she gave, all the fundamental things she was just isn't there anymore except in our hearts and memories.......and the hole that's left.....you can't fill that hole, can't cover it up, ignore it, walk round it....its big and its black and its bottomless....its nothingness echoes all the somethingness she was.....
In a meandering way I guess I'm just trying to say I miss my mum :/
posted by Listener at 12:25 AM
Went to see Once Upon A Time In Mexico last night which I hugely enjoyed, Johnny Depp is cool as a CIA man plotting and double plotting and being rather unfortunate to boot and Antonio Banderas is even cooler as a troubled hero looking for revenge, the director Robert Rodriguez is just ace, I really enjoyed the Spy Kids Trilogy and From Dusk To Dawn - he's one of the best at the slick, ultra-violent-with-splash-of humour-emotion-and-a-twisty-plot yupe film :)
posted by Listener at 3:21 PM
Saturday, October 04, 2003
Bah! not well....am gonna sulk bacuse I get bored being ill and wnat to do stuff which last 5 minutes then I get dizzy and feel crap :(
posted by Listener at 4:16 PM
Spirits of love
The souls of the sad
Dance out this tango
In a minor key
Da da da da daaaaah
Take my hand
My dear
My card is marked
With your name
Step as one
This last time
Our final dance
Perfect timing
As the music dies
We take our leave More Of My Poems
02/01/2002 - 02/28/2002
03/01/2002 - 03/31/2002
04/01/2002 - 04/30/2002
05/01/2002 - 05/31/2002
06/01/2002 - 06/30/2002
07/01/2002 - 07/31/2002
08/01/2002 - 08/31/2002
09/01/2002 - 09/30/2002
10/01/2002 - 10/31/2002
11/01/2002 - 11/30/2002
12/01/2002 - 12/31/2002
01/01/2003 - 01/31/2003
02/01/2003 - 02/28/2003
03/01/2003 - 03/31/2003
04/01/2003 - 04/30/2003
05/01/2003 - 05/31/2003
06/01/2003 - 06/30/2003
07/01/2003 - 07/31/2003
08/01/2003 - 08/31/2003
09/01/2003 - 09/30/2003
10/01/2003 - 10/31/2003
11/01/2003 - 11/30/2003
12/01/2003 - 12/31/2003
01/01/2004 - 01/31/2004
02/01/2004 - 02/29/2004
03/01/2004 - 03/31/2004
04/01/2004 - 04/30/2004
05/01/2004 - 05/31/2004
06/01/2004 - 06/30/2004
07/01/2004 - 07/31/2004
08/01/2004 - 08/31/2004
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