You went by quickly. Lots happened, D. moved in with me, my mum passed away, the girls moved to Scotland, I got a new position managing people (rather than projects).....lots and lots of other really good and fun stuff......taking the girls on hols, visiting Isle of Man, exploring Copenhagen, seeing Paul Weller and Turin Brakes....and lots so its been like most years, some good, some bad, and on the whole....well I'm happy living this life I lead so what more's there to say?
Gotta go and get ready we're off out for dinner and a New Year's Eve Par-tay :)
Happy 2004 y'all :) xxx
posted by Listener at 7:46 PM
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
What a top film High Fidelity is, the book was ace and I was worried about the adaptation but I think it does it justice :)
posted by Listener at 11:24 PM
Well the main bit is done, the girls have gone home (Boo!) but much fun was had.
Going back to Xmas Eve I picked the girls up at the airport and headed back ot the flat where D. had made yummy choccie biscuits which needed decorating and hanging on the treee so we had much fun for an hour or so making (and eating!) them.
Bryony wanted to cook tea and made us tuna pasta, apple crumble and scrummy chocie truffles whilst D. and Kate did a jigsaw puzzle!!!! We then chilled for the evening before finally getting them to bed - I went in to 'see if Santa had been' about 12ish and had a chat with Bryony about taking her socks off (which she didn't have on) so waited another 30 minutes for Santa and then he came and I went to bed.......oddly despite a lucid if odd conversation with Bryony she didn't remember a word of it and Santa could have visited much earlier!!!
Anyhow a quite respectable 6.30 they wandered in and we did the pressie thing, they loved all the DVDs, CDs art stuff etc that Santa had brought and the CD discman (Kate) and Jeans (Bryony) and other bits and bobs me and D got them.
I got D some much wanted CD's (Granddaddy, Ed Harcourt and Hot Hot Heat) Lagann - a classic Indian film on DVD and a new handbag filled with an extra special pressie of perfume Desnuda by Emanuel Ungaro.
I got a totally cool PikaOne USB MP3 player and memory stick (called Groovecase - no linkys cos I don't want to look it up to get a link and then find out the price!!!!) and Lord of The Rings The Two Towers Special Edition DVD - cool!!!!!
Me and the girls then went to my sisters for more pressies and dinner and playing games and chilling out - its was really ace :)
The rest of out time has been spent visiting and playing and shopping and going up to see some friends from hols the year before last.
This year, this Christmas I made a special gift Wrapped it lovingly and Placed it under the tree Pretending its from you Its a small empty box Soft fuschia pink in colour Like the flowers you loved Its inside may seem empty To other eyes than mine But in it I see many things The memories and the love And all the thoughts My words can't describe
I am looking forward to Christmas.....I am enjoying the build up, I liked getting pressies for everyone and am looking forward to the girls being here tomorrow until Monday. I can't wait until Xmas morning and having the girls and D. all piled in the bed opening presents and having fun. The girls get on really well with D. which is important of course to me, Bryony's already lined her up for hair and makeup duties on Xmas day and I'm sure Katherine will want to be involved too - I have an ace photo from their last visit of D. putting makeup on Bryony and Katherine doing D.'s hair all at the same time!!!
D. will go to he folks for Christmas Day and me and the girls to my sisters, staying over and then visiting my Aunt Mary (mum's sister) on Boxing Day.
We will of course all miss Mum. Usually it was round to Mum and Dad's Christmas Day. Mum would astound all by being able to cover all the bases; ensure everyone got their presents, had drink and nibbles whilst preparing the most amazing dinners and playing with the girls and chatting to us all at the same time. The girls, me, my sister and her boyf and of course Dad were her life - she knew D. only briefly but I could see how she welcomed her into our family and was happy that I was happy. Mum just wanted us all to be happy and carefree and anything she could do (mostly unbidden, mostly quietly and in an unassuming manner) to help that was enough for her.
She was a very calm lady and had huge inner strengths that weren't immediately obvious. The over-riding thoughts from people after she passed away were about her fortitude and positive outlook and her smile and care for everyone else. Mum never complained, I don't ever remember her complaining, just getting on with things.
So we'll miss Mum hugely, this is a year of firsts, me and Dad have had birthday's alone, Mum's has passed 'uncelebrated'. Christmas is next and then we start the New Year with more, my sister's getting married and its hers and her boyf's birthdays, we're planning a family holiday, which is not something I would really have entertained before but am not just doing out of a sense of duty and care for Dad, but something I think will be good for all of us. Spring will breathe new life to the garden Mum loved and Dad tended, I know he still will, probably for her and probably to ease the passing of time......nothing stays the same but this difference is one nobody cares for, yet like Mum we cope, what's important to me is that we still create memories........
I'm not sure how to grieve, I'm not sure what that means, what is supposed to happen. Its different for everyone I guess. Mostly days go by just like all the other ones before Mum left us, tho rarely without some time thinking about her, in some idle minutes it creeps upon me and my eyes sting a little and without really thinking anything specific I feel something that's hard to describe.....like all emotions wrapped into one muddled mass of memories felt at once....I don't feel this acutely, but in a muted or dull fashion, like an ache....like a memory......memory's do not relive the exact moment something happened, one never feels the pain or the laughter or the whatever quite as keenly as when it happened, one feels the echo of it.
So this Christmas will be somewhat subdued, but just as Mum would have wanted, all of us will make sure we create a few memories and enjoy our time together.
K melancholy over, I just looked out the window and the sky is brightening and the sun is shining up there somewhere.
I hope anyone reading this have the best of times this Christmas and if there is any sadness it is soothed a little, for a time, by family and friends and memories.
Been busy preparing for Christmas and the like. Had a departmental lunch last Thursday and stayed out all afternoon and was late back to office which made D. late for an appointment which wasn't very well received....and I quite publicly (well as publicly as this blog gets) apologise for that :/
We did a Secret Santa thingy at work, where you put names in a hat and buy whoever you pick a pressie for £5. I got some very cool Marilyn Monroe coasters, D. got a 'champagne glass' with a light in the bottom that lights up the drink, I brought a mini skate board as my giving gift and Georgie our office manage thought it was cool (I think) tho seemed insistent someone had talked to her boyf who has a fantasy about skateboards and kitchens (heh !!).
Weekend was relativelyy quiet, last minute shopping on Saturday which was very successful and then spent the afternoon wrapping. As a kid we always got 'more' at Xmas, this was the time for the 'big' presents rather than on birthdays. So Santa always brought shedloads of goodies (well sackfuls anyway) and as we got older Xmas is the time we got bikes and hi-fis and things (not in same year!!). So I always get lots of pressies for the girls, tho this year its harder as they won't be around so much to enjoy them, also Bryony is of a clothes, makeup, CDs age and not wholly forthcoming on pressie ideas.
Anyhoo they're down on Wednesday for 5 days and I can't wait :) Am really looking forward to Christmas morning with D. and the girls and seeing their faces when they open their pressies.
Went to see LOTR - The Return Of The King which was just totally ace and everything it should be. By far the biggest and best of the three (tho mainly because it climaxes the story), the battle scenes were amazing, and I thought they captured the whole Frodo/Sam/Gollum/Ring really well. I remember reading the book as a kid and being more into the Aragorn etc part of the storey and skipping chunks of the Frodo bit, tho later when I returned to it I realised how much more of the tale's sentiment is captured and expressed in those chapters.
Apparently the 'extended' DVD will run into 5 hours!!!! Can't wait :)
posted by Listener at 8:11 AM
Monday, December 15, 2003
Paul is the man! It was totally ace, I loved every minute of it, we started about 5 rows back but D. beelined the front at the start as everyone was thrashing around and it was mad!!!! Really good crowd, lots of manic jumping and singing and dancing........strange druggy guy was a tad bizarre, as was other strange druggy guy and the bloke who kept chanting 'we are the mods' despite surely not being old enough to know what that means and who wasn't 'at one' with the rest of the crowd......and as for the couple having sex in front of us....well we're pretty sure they didn't come together.....maybe that should be arrive together!!
He did lots off his latest album, some old Jam and Style Council stuff....unfortunately he didn't do Brand New Start which would have just made it even more totally ace but did finish with A Town Called Malice which was cool.....time to plan another gig now I'm realy in the mood for them :)
posted by Listener at 5:38 PM
Sunday, December 14, 2003
I've been ill the last 4 days - a really horrid head cold and shivers :/ I missed our works Xmas do which was a shame but was ok enough yesterday to almost finish Xmas shopping - I just have a couple of things still to get. I was very efficient and planned out my pressies and kept a spreadsheet record of everything and tracked down the best bargains....expecially for CDs, DVDs and book which I exclusively brought on-line (Amazon for books, they've lost their edge on CDs/DVDs to Play.com, CD WOW and DVD.co.uk)!!!!
On of the things I got the girls is the new The Simpsons: Hit & Run game which is quite good and funny.
Can't tell you what I got D. as she reads this..............
We're off to see Paul Weller tonight whichshould be ace :oD
posted by Listener at 2:47 PM
right slap bang in the middle of trafalger Square when the rugby Union World Cup Victory Parade kicked off and finally came round to us....we were singling sweet chariots, we were singing Martin is our leader and oh Jonny Jonny........and it was totally ace, it was wonderful....a sea of red and white and good humour and fun and cheering till our throat was hoarse!!!
I am so glad I went......I am a bit drunked and toired nad want to give D. a hug and tell her all about it so will write more later.....
.....but I was there!!!!
posted by Listener at 9:58 PM
Thursday, December 04, 2003
It would have been mum's birthday today, she'd have been 62 so am thinking lots of stuff. I miss her hugely............
Rather bizzarly its our works Xmas do tonight.....
So whilst life is short, life goes on I guess.
posted by Listener at 10:18 AM
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Can I just say that Turin Brakes ROCK - they were stunning last night, it was a really cool gig and they mixed the rock with the slow and the loud with the soothing very very well, Ollie the lead singer stunning voice and blends lead guitar (he get's all the cool riffs) superbly with Gale who is actually laying down much of the structure (and I suspect the clever bits) for each song, the rest of the group (bass, keyboards and drums) all did their bit too. They had some good support too but I'll post about that later, just wanted to capture 'the moment' as soon as I could - would've done it last night but didn't get back to 1 and was tired!!
And very cooly they put one song in the playlist because it was 'requested' greatly ona thread on their websites forum - nice to see bands actually using their webspace to reach out to the fans :)
posted by Listener at 9:26 AM
Spirits of love
The souls of the sad
Dance out this tango
In a minor key
Da da da da daaaaah
Take my hand
My dear
My card is marked
With your name
Step as one
This last time
Our final dance
Perfect timing
As the music dies
We take our leave More Of My Poems
02/01/2002 - 02/28/2002
03/01/2002 - 03/31/2002
04/01/2002 - 04/30/2002
05/01/2002 - 05/31/2002
06/01/2002 - 06/30/2002
07/01/2002 - 07/31/2002
08/01/2002 - 08/31/2002
09/01/2002 - 09/30/2002
10/01/2002 - 10/31/2002
11/01/2002 - 11/30/2002
12/01/2002 - 12/31/2002
01/01/2003 - 01/31/2003
02/01/2003 - 02/28/2003
03/01/2003 - 03/31/2003
04/01/2003 - 04/30/2003
05/01/2003 - 05/31/2003
06/01/2003 - 06/30/2003
07/01/2003 - 07/31/2003
08/01/2003 - 08/31/2003
09/01/2003 - 09/30/2003
10/01/2003 - 10/31/2003
11/01/2003 - 11/30/2003
12/01/2003 - 12/31/2003
01/01/2004 - 01/31/2004
02/01/2004 - 02/29/2004
03/01/2004 - 03/31/2004
04/01/2004 - 04/30/2004
05/01/2004 - 05/31/2004
06/01/2004 - 06/30/2004
07/01/2004 - 07/31/2004
08/01/2004 - 08/31/2004
09/01/2004 - 09/30/2004
10/01/2004 - 10/31/2004
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